


Mention of a Man

by deluxemycroft



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Depressed Sam Winchester, Disabled Sam Winchester, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, No Hunting, Season 8 high school au, dean is a very bad person, sambenny - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 14:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3573098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deluxemycroft/pseuds/deluxemycroft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Benny are best friends. Sam is Dean’s wheelchair using little brother, and he has a huge crush on Benny. Pity Dean hates him now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mention of a Man

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stolenvoices](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stolenvoices/gifts).



> i had this idea a couple days ago and got sick so i actually had time to write it lmao
> 
> warnings for:  
> emotional abuse, alcoholism, falsely accusing someone of molestation, dean is a jackass, there's probably some ableist language I didn't catch, sorry
> 
> i have all next week off from school so hopefully i'll be able to write the sequel this needs

It took Sam awhile to realize he had a crush on Benny. Longer than it should, actually. He was sitting in his room, very carefully not peeking out his window at Dean waxing the impala and Benny reading on the front lawn, when it kind of hit him. Benny laughed and something warm bubbled up in Sam’s chest and stomach and he blinked at his homework.

_I have a crush on my brother’s best friend._

Dean’s best friend. Not even like his stupid past crush on Cas, who had been Dean’s nerdy study buddy-slash-friend in Idaho before they had moved again. Nobody was as close to Dean as Benny was. Not even Sam.

When they first moved here, Sam had tried to compete with Benny. He’d spent the hours he was supposed to be doing homework and studying with Dean, making dinner and watching shitty movies and it hadn’t worked. Benny and Dean had clicked on a level that Sam and Dean never had. According to Dean, anyway. 

And, of course, Sam’s stupid brain had to go get a crush on the one guy Dean would never let him have.

Sam rolled over to the window. Benny was lounging on the front lawn, tossing one of his books up in the air, his shirt abandoned near the front walk. Sam carefully rolled up the blinds and pressed his forehead to the window. The glass was cool against his face.

Dean had a date that night with the prettiest girl in town. Her name was Erica Something-that-started-with-an-R, and she was hot enough that Dean was waxing the impala to impress her. Sam had heard Dean and Benny talking about her that morning. He hadn’t even known Dean was going out, because Dean didn’t talk to him anymore. Dean just hung out with Benny and worked for the mechanic in town on the weekends and watched tv with his arm around a girl. He grunted at Sam in the mornings and nodded to him at night.

Sam pressed his fist to his mouth and turned away from the window, pretending he wasn’t crying. Stupid Dean and his stupid girls. Sam’s stupid brain probably transferred his need for Dean to love him again over to Benny, since at least Benny paid attention to him now. 

Sam took a deep breath and pulled up his shirt to rub the tears from his face. The last girl Dean had brought over hadn’t even know Dean had a little brother, and had screamed at him when he rolled out of his room to go to the bathroom. Dean had just laughed at her and waved Sam off.

There weren’t any girls in the house now, though, and Sam was hungry. He swung open his bedroom door and rolled down the hall to the kitchen. When dad had bought the house, they’d renovated the front room into a bedroom for Sam since he couldn’t go up stairs. They’d also added a ramp in the garage and up to the front and back doors. There had been a couple stairs between Sam’s room and what was now the living room, but Dean had spent a week making the narrow hallway into a gentle slope instead of stairs.

Sam opened the refrigerator and nearly jumped out of his chair when Benny rasped from behind him, “Gonna make me dinner, Sam?”

Sam rolled back and let the fridge door fall shut, turning around to look up at Benny, shirtless and sweaty and smiling. He grinned down at Sam, leaning on the back of one of the kitchen chairs, and drawled, “You want me to cook ya up somethin’, sweetheart?”

Blushing and shrugging, Sam shook his head. “You don’t have to, Benny. I can make myself a sandwich or something. Go back outside with Dean.”

“Dean’s gone. Out with Erica. Didn’t you hear him holler goodbye?”

It spilled out of Sam’s mouth before he could stop it, “He’s talking to me again?”

Benny was halfway to the fridge when he stopped and turned back to look at Sam. Benny wasn’t very tall, not compared to Dean, but he was about as broad and thick as a man could be. Sam loved it. Benny had hugged him once, when Sam’s rat had died, and the only place Sam had ever felt safer was in Dean’s arms.

Benny crouched down in front of him and rested his wide hands on Sam’s knees. Sam’s whole body lit up and his heart fluttered, and very carefully, he rested one of his hands on top of Benny’s. Every part of him wanted to intertwine his fingers with Benny’s, but he wasn’t stupid enough to think Benny thought of him like that. He was Dean’s stupid disabled little brother. He should count himself lucky enough that freakin’ Benny Lafitte was paying attention to him, let alone touching him.

“Kiddo…you know he’s just been busy, right? Now, I know Dean ain’t perfect. He spends a lot more time thinkin’ with his dick than he does with his brain. I know he don’t spend enough time with you as he should. I know he don’t pay good enough attention to you. I’ve tried talkin’ to him about it, I promise. He just don’t think it’s harmin’ you, sweetheart, and I know it is. You ever need to talk about it, Sam, Benny’s here.”

And that was the long and short of it, really. Benny was honestly one of the kindest people Sam had ever met, and he knew that if he told Benny of his stupid crush, Benny would let him down just about as kindly as anyone had ever been rejected, probably so nicely that Sam wouldn’t realize what had happened until later. He’d heard about Benny being ruthless from Dean—one time some punks had gone after Dean for flirting with one of their sisters, and Benny had just about ripped one of their heads off—but he’d only ever been so kind to Sam.

Sam just nodded and watched detachedly as Benny stood up and cradled Sam’s hand in between both of his wide, warm hands. “I just…I don’t think he likes me anymore,” Sam whispered, and Benny’s whole face fell. Sam rushed to continue before Benny probably ran off to tell Dean what a freak his little brother was. “He doesn’t spend any time with me, even when I go outside to see him when he’s working on the car. I tried spending time with him at the shop and he nearly left me there. Benny…I don’t think Dean wants me as his brother anymore. I…I think he’s ashamed of his…stupid little crippled brother.”

Benny kept one of his hands wrapped around Sam’s hand as reached behind himself and tugged up a chair, sitting heavily in it and rubbing at his eyes.

“You—you don’t have to listen to me, Benny.”

Benny tugged his hand out of Sam’s grasp and Sam looked down at his hand, running his fingers over the spot Benny had touched. It felt like his body temperature had dropped a degree since Benny had stopped touching him.

God, he was hopeless.

“Sam, sweetheart…I didn’t know he’d gotten this bad. I honestly didn’t know. I’ll talk to him, I promise. In the meantime, ya want some dinner? I was gonna go hang out with some of my boys, but I ain’t leavin’ you. Why don’t you go get a movie started and I’ll come in in a few minutes?”

“Really? You’d stay with me instead of—”

Benny stood up, leaning over Sam’s chair to press his hands to Sam’s shoulders. “Sam. You’re my best friend’s little brother, and you’re one of my friends, too. You’re real important to me, sweetheart.”

“We’re—we’re friends?”

Benny straightened up and grinned down at Sam. When Sam finally looked up at him, he reached forward and brushed the bangs out of Sam’s eyes. Sam shivered and smiled shyly up at him, tipping his head back to bare his neck. Benny had dated a couple girls and a couple guys that Sam knew of, and they always had hickeys all over their necks. One time, Sam had twisted his fingers in his neck and pinched himself until he had a bruise, just so he could pretend Benny had given him a hickey.

“Damn straight we’re friends, sweetheart. Now, you get into the living room and start up a movie. Benny’s gonna make up somethin’ real good for ya.” Benny tucked Sam’s bangs behind his ear and then stepped out of the way, smirking as Sam rolled out of the living room.

Sam dug up Dean’s booklet of DVDs, finding the remote shoved between the couch cushions and turning on the TV and the DVD player. He set the brakes on his wheelchair rolled it up next to the couch. Every time Benny was around, Sam had gotten into the habit of being unable to transfer himself from his chair to anywhere else, and Benny would just pick him up and cradle him in such a way that made Sam’s heart flutter.

He finally picked up _30 Days of Night_ , because it was just scary enough that Sam could jump and curl up into Benny’s side and it wouldn’t be suspicious. He pulled it out of the sleeve and set it on the table, wondering if he should go back into the kitchen and see what Benny was cooking for them.

A few minutes later, the microwave beeped and Benny came into the living room carrying two plates. He set them on the table and grinned at Sam, motioning towards the DVD. “Vampires?”

Sam smiled and looked at what Benny had cooked. “Nachos?”

“You got me. Ain’t the good cooker I pretend to be, and I had a hankerin’ for some chips and cheese. You mind?”

Sam shook his head as Benny put the DVD in the player and started it up. He motioned towards Sam. “Need some help gettin’ onto the couch?”

Blushing, Sam raised his arms up a little and looked shyly up at the older man. “If…if you don’t mind. I just get tired of it…”

“Always happy to help, sweetheart.”

Benny bent over and tucked an arm behind Sam’s knees and another around his shoulders, and with a soft grunt, he straightened up, holding Sam to his chest. However, instead of gently setting Sam down like Benny had done every other time, Benny sat down on the couch with Sam in his arms and nestled on his lap. Sam froze and momentarily cursed his useless legs, but Benny just leaned forward and snagged the plates and the remote before starting up the movie.

“You gonna eat?”

Sam nodded dumbly and shifted around so his side was pressed to the side of Benny’s chest, his shoulder buried under Benny’s armpit and his legs over Benny’s lap. As the movie started, Sam ate a few nachos and curled up in Benny’s embrace, quickly falling asleep.

Benny just held him and rewatched the movie when it ended, carefully sliding his hand underneath Sam’s shirt to stroke the younger man’s side, heart seizing in his chest when Sam sighed and curled even further into him.

When Dean came home, he snorted at the two of them and leaned over the back of the couch. “Little creep finally reel you in?”

Benny just shook his head. “Creep, Dean? Big talk comin’ from ya.”

“Hey, I ain’t the one that practically jacks off in front of his brother and his brother’s best friend just ‘cause his brother’s friend has his damn shirt off. He keeps flirtin’ with my friends. I don’t like it.”

“So you thought you’d make him think ya hate him to get back at him? Instead of sayin’ somethin’? Brother, the boy thinks you don’t want him anymore.”

Benny had expected Dean to defend himself or say he would never leave Sam behind. He had expected Dean to say anything. Instead, his best friend rolled his eyes and went upstairs.

Benny shook his head and then froze when Sam’s breath hitched.

“He—he hates me!” Sam cried, and buried his face in Benny’s chest. Benny carefully wrapped his arms around Sam and held him close. “I didn’t—I didn’t even do anything! My big brother hates me and—and I don’t even know why!”

“I’m sure he was just…drunk…or somethin’, sweetheart. Don’t take it to heart.”

Sam sat up and stared at the empty hallway Dean had gone down. “Is he gonna kick me out of the house? Do I have to quit school? Am I gonna—is he gonna kick me out of my room? What if he makes me pay rent?”

Before Benny could say anything, Dean bellowed down from upstairs, “Jesus, Sammy, shut the hell up! Get your crippled ass in your ugly wheelchair and stop molesting my friends!”

Sam was out of Benny’s arms and down the hall before Benny could blink. He slammed and locked the door and Benny sighed, turning off the TV and laying down on the couch. He contemplated going after Sam but fell asleep instead.

//

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Disgusting, stupid…worthless excuse for a human being. Dean was right to hate him. Dean probably should’ve left him on the side of the road when that car had hit him and broken his spine. How hadn’t he noticed he was forcing Benny to touch him? He’d known Benny had only hung out with him because he felt bad for him and felt bad for Dean having to deal with him, but he honestly hadn’t expected for Dean to confirm his worst fears.

He was _disgusting_. He could only imagine how Benny had to go scrub his touch off his skin. God, how could the older man even look at him? How could he even be in the same room? The same house?

Sam shoved his wheelchair as far away from the bed as he could and watched dispassionately as it fell over. He hoped it broke into a thousand pieces. He hoped Dean came into his room and beat him into a hundred pieces. 

He was repulsive. Even knowing he’d probably forced Benny to hold him like that last night, it still made his heart flutter and his belly warm up to remember being cradled to Benny’s chest like that. He’d even slept and woken up in Benny’s arms, like he’d dreamed of for so long. 

Dean could probably sense it. He could probably tell that Sam’s disgusting little heart longed for his brother’s arms around him again. Sam just wanted his big brother back, and it had probably perverted into molesting Dean’s friends.

Sam gagged into his pillow and ducked down back underneath his covers, soaking up his tears with the shirt he had stolen from Dean a week ago. God, they would probably have to move again. He couldn’t imagine ever looking at Benny again. He couldn’t imagine Benny ever wanting to look at his revolting face ever again.

Hopefully when they moved again, Sam would be kept locked up in the basement like the monster he was. No wonder Dean hadn’t told anyone about him. Sam didn’t blame him now. 

Sam wondered if this was what death felt like, this all encompassing darkness and despair that felt like it was going to swallow him up.

Someone knocked on his door. Sam held his breath.

“Hey, Sam. Breakfast is ready if yer hungry,” Benny told him, and Sam called out his name before Benny stomped off.

“I’m—I’m so sorry, Benny. I didn’t—I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what?”

“That I was—I was making you. Forcing you. Making you touch me.”

Benny sighed. “Why don’t you just come to breakfast, sweetheart?”

Sam felt bile rise up in his throat and he was barely able to swallow it down. Oh god. “Oh—okay.”

Benny was gonna kill him. Dean would probably be there to watch. 

Sam nodded and dragged himself out of bed and across the floor, righting his wheelchair before climbing up into it. He didn’t even change his sweatpants or his shirt before unlocking his door and slowly going into the kitchen.

Both Dean and Benny were sitting at the kitchen table. Dean was grumpily stabbing at pancakes and Benny was stirring a mug of coffee. There was a bowl of cereal waiting for him, with the jug of milk in front of it.

Dean didn’t look up. “Roll up, Sammy.”

“I don’t—I don’t think I want to.”

Dean glowered at him, slamming his fist down onto the table. “Get over here! Now!”

Swallowing through the lump in his throat, Sam nodded and rolled up to his spot, pouring some of the milk over his cereal. He took a bite before looking up to see Dean glaring at him. He flinched and looked back down, suddenly less hungry than he had been before.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to.”

Dean scoffed and shoved his plate away, getting to his feet and stomping to the fridge. “Oh, precious baby Sammy _didn’t mean to_! That makes it all okay! He can just send dad away and make his brother work his ass off trying to provide for his crippled ass. Then, after all that, poor Sammy goes and tries to steal _my_ best friend, and not only that! Baby Sammy molests him! But he’s sorry. He didn’t mean to. So we should just forgive—”

“Sam, you didn’t molest me.”

Sam looked up and met Benny’s soft gaze through his tears. “But Dean—”

“Dean is an alcoholic. It doesn’t excuse anything.”

 _Alcoholic_? How had Sam never noticed? What kind of useless brother didn’t notice their brother drinking himself to death? “Dean?”

Dean scoffed at them and Sam watched him pull out a flask from his pocket and drink down half of it. He could smell the alcohol stink on Dean. “I ain’t no fuckin’ alcoholic, Sammy.” He got a mostly-full bottle of whiskey from underneath the sink and dropped back down at the table. “I just gotta take the edge off.”

“What—what edge, Dean?”

Dean looked at him. “Your shit, of course, Sammy. You always needin’ shit. Always need books. One of your stupid wheelchairs, your goddamn therapy. Never have a moment to myself.”

“Dean…you haven’t bought me anything new in months. You don’t even spend any time around me. What’s…what’s so hard about that?”

Dean glared at him. “It’s your fuckin’ face, Sammy. Always got that hangdog look like I’m a step away from beatin’ your ass. Always stealin’ my goddamn friends, Sammy!”

Sam took a deep breath and looked at Benny for reassurance. He still felt disgusting, like his skin and soul had been dragged through the deepest garbage trench in the dirtiest part of the ocean, but anger at Dean was helping to burn it away. Benny reached across the table and put his hand on top of Sam’s, stroking the back of Sam’s hand with his thumb.

“I didn’t—I didn’t steal Cas, Dean. You cheated off his math test and he stopped talking to you. Don’t you remember that?”

“No, your slutty little ass—”

Sam pushed away from the table, wiping his hands on his pants and glaring at Dean. “All I ever did was kiss him! That was way before he stopped talking to you! I didn’t have anything to do with that!”

Dean slammed his fist on the table and Sam automatically rolled back, dropping his gaze to the floor. He looked up again as Benny slowly got to his feet and stood in front of him. “Dean, I gotta say somethin’. I dunno where you got this idea that Sam is to blame for everythin’ hard in your life. You’re the one who told your dad to leave. You told him you could handle everythin’. You know he’d come runnin’ back if you said you needed help. You’re tryin’ to do it all on your own and blame everything that goes bad on someone who is just tryin’ to graduate high school.”

Dean just glared at him. “I saw the way he was all snuggled up on you last night. I’ve seen that shit—”

“He asked for my help getting out of his wheelchair. If anyone was unwilling in that contact, it was Sam.”

“Benny, if I’d wanted to get—”

“I know, sweetheart, and I’d never make you do anything. But I got workin’ legs and you don’t. Fact remains that if you didn’t want to sit on my lap, I damn coulda made you.”

“But you didn’t—”

Dean groaned and swung one of his arms out, knocking his plate off the table and shattering it across the floor. Benny gently tugged Sam forward and cradled Sam’s neck in one of his big hands.

“There’s a sober house across town. Gonna take him to their detox center. Sam…you know he don’t mean none of this, right? Let him sober up and he’ll tell you himself, I promise. But you don’t deserve to hear this. So you just go shower after you give Benny a kiss.”

“A—a kiss?” Sam squawked, blushing and ducking his head. Benny’s hand slipped from his neck to cradle his chin and tilt his head up. Benny nodded, smiling indulgently. “Oh…okay.”

Gently, Benny leaned down and pressed his mouth to Sam’s.

A whole mess of fireworks burst inside Sam’s body.

//

After Sam got out of the shower, he went back to the kitchen with the intention of cleaning up. Of course, Benny had already done it, and Sam went into the living room, picking up the plates Benny had left out from their night before. He put the DVD away and put the remotes on the table where Dean liked them. Sam put the dishes in the sink and then after checking the time, he went to his room to work on his homework.

Benny came back to the house almost five hours later. Sam was sprawled out on the couch, watching a documentary on the mating habits of killer whales. He grunted out a hello and then jumped as Benny came around the couch and seemed to just straight drop to the floor.

Benny just looked at him for a few long minutes before slowly reaching out and carefully cradling Sam’s hand in both of his.

“That brother of yours is in a real bad place.”

“I know,” Sam whispered. “I just want him better again.”

“They’re gonna keep him for at least a couple days. At least dry him out.”

Sam nodded and looked at the older boy for a while. Slowly, carefully enough that Benny could stop him, he levered himself up on his elbow and leaned forward to press his mouth to Benny’s.

Benny grinned against his lips and then pressed him back into the cushions, cradling Sam’s hand in his big hands. Sam slipped his arms over Benny’s shoulders and pulled him on top of himself, finally feeling the knot that had been wound up tight in his stomach unwind.

Everything wasn’t suddenly going to be all right but Sam felt he could finally have hope again.

**Author's Note:**

> rose-  
> i wanted to do something for u bc of everything u've done for jared's always keep fighting fundraiser thing. i didn't want to say anything since i didn't know if i would get it done before the fundraiser is over but i really appreciate all the work u've done putting donors and all that together!! and i know u've helped a lot of ppl and helped jared be all the good he is in the world.  
> i hope u enjoy it  
> i dont even know if u'll like it since u...didn't even ask for it but here u go :)  
> :)


End file.
